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Hallmark Cards That Didn't Make The Cut

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  • #2
    rofl!!!
    This is my cool sig.

    Comment


    • #3
      ROFL.... I see you're finding some better material.. Great!!! heheh

      still laughing....

      Comment


      • #4
        funny....
        Some Skulls are born to be heroes

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        • #5
          :lol:

          Yeah. Funny.

          And I have some news for you.

          That last one wouldn't work.

          There is such a thing as using one's fist to bang on doors with.
          "I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory,
          even stopper death - if you aren't as big a bunch
          of dunderheads as I usually have to teach." -- Professor Severus Snape.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Taffergirl
            And I have some news for you.

            That last one wouldn't work.

            There is such a thing as using one's fist to bang on doors with.
            Yeah, but those doorknockers alone would probably scare them off....

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Sisu
              away to begin with, I am doubtful wether a crude doorknocker would even phase 'em. :lol:
              What, you mean the thought of calling on ME, specifically?

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              • #8
                Just one comment: My computer isn't on the front porch....

                Comment


                • #9
                  ANd i thought you were a redneck!

                  I liek the marine one. Too bad he's only a private.
                  "Just off the border of your waking mind there lies another time, where darkness and light are one. As you tread the halls of sanity, you feel so glad to be unable to go beyond. I have a message from another time."

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                  • #10
                    LMAO, good job, LR.
                    Genius is a blink before a moment of insanity.
                    "Dream is Destiny"
                    Waking Life

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Radamanthus
                      ANd i thought you were a redneck!
                      Aren't you the one with the spudgun?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Nothing wrong with having a spudgun.
                        Genius is a blink before a moment of insanity.
                        "Dream is Destiny"
                        Waking Life

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                        • #13
                          The best one I ever, uh, experienced (I was raised as one) was a guy who came to the door in denim shorts and a t-shirt, with his zip undone and one hand over it, saying "Hellohellohello! I wasn't doing anything untoward."

                          Elderly men in drag don't tend to get called on very often (Fishnet stockings and a miniskirt are a most effective combination); saying you're gay works fairly well, and "no uninvited callers" signs are viewed as a challenge by some. Asking them for extra watchtowers and, when they ask why, saying it's because the paper they're made from is very absorbent is quite a good one, as is inviting them in for a "bible study", getting them to pray, and suddenly speaking "in tongues".

                          Asking or telling them not to call on you will mean that once a year two senior male witnesses will call "just to check" that you still don't want to be called on, whereas telling them you're an apostate (basically ex-witness turned detractor) will mean they avoid you like the plague.

                          They're not bad people, just sometimes annoying. Especially philosophically and morally...

                          I like the cards, especially the oh so whimsical "Sorry I got drunk and slept with your friend"

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                          • #14
                            I prefer to just answer the door, bloody knife in hand.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Sisu
                              Annoying? I would be interested to hear more. Are you meaning the actual standards that are set out, or how the people follow them? Or something else entirely?
                              Belief in an egotistical bipolar gaseous vertebrate and an evil opposer mixed with a combination of naïve utopianism and disapproval of homosexuals, fornicators, and "drug" users, along with simple, bible-based "answers" to everything. They believe that all god fearing heterosexuals will live in a paradise on earth that looks like the Epcot centre on steroids, but only after god brings about "armageddon" and kills every wicked (or "wicked") person on the planet cold stone dead.

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