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  • The Tale of a thief

    The Tale of a thief

    The door burst open, and in that moment time flowed backwards.

    She woke up in hell, her body aching her nerves screaming of pain, something was wrong. Where was she? What happened?

    Time flowed back again some more.

    The drawers from the chest lay upturned its contents spilled on the floor, someone was looking for something, someone had broke in before

    Yet again time trickled back.

    A shadow moved in the dark as much as the dark moved with the shadow, The shadow stopped and slid through the floor, nothing was heard.

    Time went back some more, stopped and began again right were it started off.


    It was the age of the builder, the age of metal. Everything was different than how it used to be. Torches light the streets and where rich people could afford it electrical lights were put up, hardly any rich person could afford electricity, it was something that only the builders use it in their factories of hate and iron perfection. Houses were built close together their rooves almost touching creating another level of floor for most cities, city gaurds patrol the streets and survey the rooftops with the electricity the give to the builders to keep away thieves.
    Gaurds keep together in packs like wolves hunting but they were just as immoral as the theives some times they were worse. Keepers are now the ones in control for they are the ones that train the thieves, they are the ones that make them who they are, they are the true legends nand now normal wooden housing slowly being replaced by steel the keeps slowly losing the battle against the builders. It is the end of the age of the builder, but more the age of the master builder.

    Dr. Daniel was not a man to be taken lighlty and prefably not at all by his enemies. He had many, but none of them lasted long for Daniel was untouchable he got an official permit form the builders. Apperently he was in league with the them, he knew everytihng there was to know and that he was building something to control time so he could re-do his hideous experiments over and over again and change the outcome of them that way he wouldnt need that many new bodies. Daniel had his 'health farm' a long way out of enimies reach, a fortess to end all fortresses. He kept 30 highly skilled gaurds to make sure that he was un disturbed and yet he him self was disturbed, god hadn't talked to him in a while and he was getting anxious. God talks to him in his sleep, god whispsers about the secrets of bodies, about the power of souls and how the heart of the dead could bring 'god' back to life, how god needs these souls and how Daniel should hurry up in finsing the power of them and how he will be rewarded when he does. Daniel powered by greed, amibition and insanity listened with and slavering tongue, like a dog to the master, he was helpless. He had no choice. Apperently he made examples of the gaurds that tried to be smart, turned them in to creatures beyond recognition. He paid well, well enough to keep the cities attentions away and enough to make the gaurds force the experiments on people.

    Yet tonight someone was going try the improbable, someone was try and break into Daniel's asylum.


    The sky was black, the moon out, veiled behind some clouds. It was night, and as they say night is when the theives come out and on this night one special thief was going to come out.

    Travel by night for a thief wasn't hard work, the night done it all for them. Day life stopped and night life began. Men came home from their honest paying hard work and other men went out to their dishonest better paying work. This was just an ordinary night in the night of a thief, exept for one of them. A thief of exeptional talents, of master skill. No-one knows where he is or what he'll be in 5 minutes time. No night is ordinary for him, he gets all the hard jobs, the ones seemed impossible yet he never fails. He is the only keeper who hasn't trained anyone, because of the fact that no-one could learn to be as talented as him and as natural as he was, but as it just so happens, he is a she.

    It was raining and Daniels asylum loomed omnioulsy ahead. Rouge looked across to the main entrance and saw 3 gaurds checking the back of a cart, she hoped off he cart. Getting close enough to the asylum was easy enough but getting in would be a different matter. Before she came she got well prepared. There is always a place in any city where you could buy illegal wares. Luckily she found one of the best this time and got everything she ever needed for this trip. Nobody knew what she looked like, the only people that saw here slither past or heard her talk through a large black cape thught she might just be another ordinary female thief. People think that Rouge could just be a legend as substantial as air or mist, some even sang songs of her deeds but nobody knew what she had really done and why she was such a good thief. She managed to get everything she needed for this trip, grappling hook a few flashbombs a few catfall and many different kinds off arrows of course she took her knife and Blackjakck with her, but that was basic equipment for a thief. This was the big mission, she only did jobs against the builders and if the rumours were true than this would be like chopping both arms and a leg of a huge monster, it would cripple them forever.

    But there was always a trick for getting in. The main gates were shut immediatly when the cart went in, those huge iron gates with barbed wire offered no safety for a thief of any calibier and the gaurds with thier crossbows scanning the darkness were intimdating but that stopped there, she was a professional who knew what to do. She scaned the walls and almost immediatly found what she was looking for, there was a gaping hole in the upper wall near the main entrance gaurded oly by one gaurd who was fiddling with his bow.
    She moved quielty to the bottom of the wall and slung here grappling hook over with a soft chink. The gaurd was to busy fiddling to hear, she slowly began to climb up the wall using the rope and when she reached the top, peered over at the gaurd. The gaurd turned to look at the asylum inside the walls and subsequntley turned his back to her. That was the biggest mistake he ever made, within in moment she was over the wall and had sneaked up behind him, black-jack ready and then she swung. The gaurd hit the floor momnets after with a thud and by then Rogue has already slipped down the inside walls and was moving stealthily towards the big mansion. She looked carfully at the mansion covered in bright electrical lights, gaurds using spotlights to check out all the areas which lay covered in darkness. She doged the lights and grappeled up to the safest point of her mission before she carried on, the roof.

    Then it began to rain and with the rain comes the lightning. Daniel was awaiting the great day of thunder, god told him it was going to happen and it was at this time he decided to visit one of his most hideous creatures to get it ready for the birth of his machine.

    "Gaurds, open the cage" bellowed Daniel
    "But sir, you'll be eaten alive" chattered a nervous gaurd, who knew if Daniel was dead he'll be the next to go and soon the entire gaurds would be gone too.
    "I don't care, i have the power of God with me, nothing can hurt me!, so open the door ro my harmless creature."
    The gaurd pullled the lever and the locks on the doors were released. Daniel walked in on his own, surrounded buy the creature of 'God'. A huge half dog half human approached him with large sorrowful eyes, it had paws big enough to crush Daniel and was covered in large sacle, the scale of armour a gaurd would have worn, flesh built over and under it and monstrosity which was as ugly as the bottom of hell, but it just stood and watched. "my pretty, the time is near" Murmered Daniel with a hint of anxiety entering his words "soon this entire world will belong to god and his beutiful creatures, yes my pretty, more creatures just like you thouasands and thousands of them, soon. When I control time I can go back and bring them back, you'll have a freind, my pretty" Daniel was so wrapped in his words he didn't see the look on his creations face, a look of absolute hate, a look of contempt, a look of evil and yet the creation still stood there for it was bound by the word of 'God' in the same way Daniel was.

    Rogue's cape was soaked right trought, it would only hinder her so she put down on the roof. Underneath she wore a catsuit, it took her ages to get enough to afford it so she gave up after a while and stole one, it fitted perfectly of her masculine/femine frame but she wasn't doing it for the looks and the few people that did see were found knocked-out with keys and money missing. The catsuit was black and flowed into her hair, she refused to were a balaclave, she couldn't see as well, so her finely crafted face was left out in the open. She searched for some way in and found one, She became a shadow and the shadow moved in the dark as much as the dark moved with the shadow, The shadow stopped and slid through the floor, nothing was heard. She glided silently down a ventilation shaft landed on her feet like a perfectly posied cat. The stench comeing from the asylum was terrible, a mixture of blood, death, fire and burning bodies. She struggled for breath but it quickly made her gasp, it echoed down the vent but it seemed as if nothing heard it. The wafting stench carried on renlentlsy down her throught making it burn, 'something evil was going on here' she thought.

    Daniel left the creature with the large sorrowful eyes alone again and hurried away to his lab which was always locked, only he had the key and also the button at reception could open it but none of the gaurds ever disturbed him, they were too scared.

    Rogue slithered silently through the vents, she had ought a map off the black market about the ventilation system and knew that there was one vent which would lead straight to Dr Daniel's office.

    Dr Daniel moved about hurredly in his lab to clear his big table for the final lightning bolt, the conductor ran straght through the ventilation shaft and when the lightning came, the vents would conduct electricity and his time machine will be born. A ball of bright blue light trapped in a glass cage was the energy he needed to control time.

    Rogue moved silently trought the vents, she found the one which lead to Daniel's office and slipped in. The room was a mess the drawers from the chest lay upturned its contents spilled on the floor, someone was looking for something, someone had broke in before. But this couldn't have been the truth, only one coopy of the ventilation system was made. It was probably just a messy person. She looked at pappers which lay written in blood on the desk, it was the ramblings of a madman. "...for i have tasted the flesh of the dead and know how it is. Death immortilises the soul..." Daniel was a man who had to be stopped. A gaurd went in to check up in the office. Rogue threw a flashbomb at him and quickly got back into the vents. The gaurd's screams of temperory blindness attracted nearby gaurds attentions. They found the empty casing of the flashbomb on the floor and raised the alarm. Rogue heard the alarm and went to the nearest vent openning she could find. She fell down the vent leading to the Dr's lab and at that moment lightning struck.

    She woke up in hell, her body aching her nerves screaming of pain, something was wrong. Where was she? What happened?. She was in Daniels lab, it was alight with blue lughts dancing across the walls. Daniel stood laughing mainiacly over her and right them, the time of the moment shattered.

    Time shattered peices of it lay around everywhere, a large creature stood in the middle of, its large sorrowful eyes searching around for what had really just happened. It found the peices of the universe that should have never existed and time flowed backwards together again.

    Rogue heard the alarm and went to the nearest vent openning she could find. She fell down the vent leading to the Dr's lab and at that moment lightning failed to stirke, the clouds had reached the cresendo yet there was no ending in sight. The most powerful lightning bolt never existed and Daniel was a changed man. He spoke with a strange courtesy and fear never heard in his voice before.
    "Ah, yes, Rogue isn't it?, I've heard about you for a long time. Wasn't quite sure if you were fact or fantasy but then again nothing ever matters. I'll bet you'll want to know what just happened?"
    Rogue was lost for words she stummbled across the obvious awnser "yes"
    "well to be honest I don't really know what happend, I think that the creature i was housing has freed it self from the will of the master builder"
    "who is the master builder?" Rogue demanded
    "he is an ancient being, powerful in the mind, loves to be in controll. My first creation was built when i still had some element of power over the master builder, I made it so that the master builder would never be reincarnated again and its worked for now." He paused "It wont stop him forever though and now that the creature is free it will seek to destroy this place and then it will go away" He said sadly.
    "Do you want to escape with your life?"
    "no, the last thing the creature will do is go out and destroy me, so that the master biulder can no longer controll my power mind again."
    Screams of pain and agony were heard from the corridor, a large thumping sound was heard.
    "you should go now" Daniel sobbed "you deserve to live, you are only a simple thief"

    In that moment Rogue climbed up the ventilation shaft again and left the asylum. All the gaurds from the gates had rushed in and were dying in thier masses. the left the same as she came in, alive but inside she was changed completely.

    By Tobias_The_taffer

    This is my 1st draft of a story i have to do for my englsih work, its not spell checked and its pretty rough, please give constructive critisism.
    Boss: Can you at least make coffee?
    Guy: It didn't work out at my last job
    Boss: where did you last work?
    Guy: Starbucks

  • #2
    You want me to read all this ?

    Comment


    • #3
      Holy-take-another-bump Batman!! That is long!! I'll read that one day when I have 3 hours to spare... I'm sure it's good an interesting, but perhaps giving that in smaller portions over a couple days would be better... Please don't take offense, just my opinion.
      Genius is a blink before a moment of insanity.
      "Dream is Destiny"
      Waking Life

      Comment


      • #4
        The sky was black, the moon out in full view, veiled behind some clouds. It was night, and as they say night is when the theives come out and on this night one special thief was going to come out.
        That somehow, in a very peculiar way reminded me of "The Hobbit".

        Comment


        • #5
          night is when the theives come out and on this night one special thief was going to come out.
          Boy, is his family going to be surprised.

          At least he's not doing it at Thanksgiving....

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by LaughingRat
            night is when the theives come out and on this night one special thief was going to come out.
            Boy, is his family going to be surprised.

            At least he's not doing it at Thanksgiving....
            You get sicker and more insane with every post LR.... when will it end!!!
            -TuF- Emptying clan servers of their own clan members since 2010
            - Agg moderator campaign supporter 2011
            - #2 of 3 LANers of the Apocalypse!
            -YT

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by FixXxeR
              You get sicker and more insane with every post LR.... when will it end!!!
              Probably not here.

              Comment


              • #8
                "The sky was black, the moon out in full view, veiled behind some clouds"

                Um......
                I'm cool!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Pwned.
                  deserve victory

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    but what do you guys think about the story?
                    Boss: Can you at least make coffee?
                    Guy: It didn't work out at my last job
                    Boss: where did you last work?
                    Guy: Starbucks

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by -BeAsT-
                      Pwned.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        You just ripped off the plot of Shrek!
                        I'm cool!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          So he's taken inspariation from other things...... so what?
                          -TuF- Emptying clan servers of their own clan members since 2010
                          - Agg moderator campaign supporter 2011
                          - #2 of 3 LANers of the Apocalypse!
                          -YT

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Um. So you're a dick?
                            I'm cool!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by !eduDageM
                              Um. So you're a dick?
                              How imaginative.
                              -TuF- Emptying clan servers of their own clan members since 2010
                              - Agg moderator campaign supporter 2011
                              - #2 of 3 LANers of the Apocalypse!
                              -YT

                              Comment

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