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**Kiech Bepho** · 30 Jan 2003, 05:18 PM

Hmm, I always wondered why the silverware was always easier to steal...lol.

Scouring through the TTLG forums today, I finally decided to see what 'Clan Foofie' was all about. OMG, its what the RLF has been protecting all along!

http://www.ttlg.com/forums/showthrea...threadid=58290

Kiech

**SNAFU** · 30 Jan 2003, 05:40 PM

The door bursts open.

SNAFU: WAAAAZZZZUUUUPPPP?!
Ghostly: Gahh! Damnit SNAFU! You almost gave me a heartattack! What the hell are you doing in MY bedtime story, anyway?
SNAFU: Actually, I'm here as one of the pivotal characters in this story who will reveal a vital plot twist which will not happen for several pages to come, and thus set in motion the action leading to the climax of this story. But for right now...

He slams his blackjack on the counter.

SNAFU: Why the hell is it PLASTIC? I swear, Bart, I'm going ring your neck if you cheat me again. Last time, it was a "scouting orb" that was just a rock, and I haven't forgotten the time you sold me the "upgraded bow"...
Bart: Well, we were just talking about the plastic thing SNAF'...
SNAFU: It better be good. Just last night, I beat a guard relentlessly with this thing, and he didn't even flinch! I finally gave up and beat him senseless with a frozen deer leg, and I heard he died from cancer this morning...
Ghostly: SNAFU, would you shut up and listen to me and Bart?
SNAFU: Well, be quick about it...
Ghostly: Well you see, MG has switched out everything with plastic replicas, so he can sell the real ones, and make money. EVERYTHING... swords, loot, plates...
SNAFU: What? That makes no sense...
Bart: Look at your Blackjack and tell me what it says on it.
SNAFU: What foolishness are you talking ab– THAT DIRTY ROTTEN BASTARD!!! IT SAYS DIXIE ON IT!! I'VE BEEN BLUDGEONING GUARDS WITH A DIXIE CUP?! GAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Ghostly: Calm, friend SNAFU...
SNAFU: I WILL SKIN THE MAN ALIVE!!
Bart: How? Your sword is plastic...
SNAFU: THEN I'LL USE A PLASTIC FORK!!
Ghostly: Settle down, SNAF'... we already have a... plan.
SNAFU: And what is this... plan?

I smiled.

Ghostly: Come... let us sit at the table and discuss it...

**Mad_Gerbil** · 30 Jan 2003, 06:13 PM

*Meanwhile, in the secret underground headquarters of the RLF a meeting of great import is in progress*

Dr. Flame: "Dammit Mad_Gerbil, I've packed each firebolt with as much explosive power as possible. I'm sure that they just cannot take anymore"

Mad_Gerbil: "My dear Dr. Flame, I'm authorizing the spending of another 100,000 loot for you and your assistants to improve the technology even further. I don't want excuses, I want more uber firebolts"

Kore MacLeod: "With all due respect, Mad_Gerbil, perhaps we could us that money on other things. Why if you just learned how to use tag bolts and para....."

Mad_Gerbil: *screaming* "SILENCE!!! I'll have NO more talk of tagbolts and parabolts! Those take SKILL to use and I need something that doesn't require the ability to aim."

Dr. Flame: "Even if such a new and improved firebolt were possible, we've already exhausted all financial resources to get this far. How can we afford to go on"

Mad_Gerbil: Well gentlemen, that is why I am in charge. *hoists a heavy chest full of real silverware and gold up onto the table* We can afford further research thanks to the miracle of Dixie Plastic Ware.

*scene fades with the echo of laughter*

**Antero90** · 31 Jan 2003, 06:03 AM

And turns to Lord Gerome's Mansion

Camper at window: «Im certain there was a noise just there.»

Camper also at window: «Shut up! We have been camping this spot for hours and no one will join the server, i doubt we wil get any taffers tonight, even now that TOB is releasing new maps»

A scream burts from behind «Ah! Ill get you!»

Camper 1 «Shit! The boss is on the loose!»

camper 2 «How? *presses f1 key* no one has joined the server. How can he be mad if no thief entered his room?»

Camper 1 «Maybe one of the boys accidently entered his room again. This house is wierd. Everytime i go into that ktchen i find the cook dead by the fire. I tell you man! That room is haunted! I would rather camp the bigdaddy Spider cell than stay on that spot.»

Camper 2 «Yeah, this sure is a freak... *Gerome kills the campers by the window and proceeds killing the rest of the Mansion Guard*

Antero90 *Roaming in the Hall* «Shit Shit Shit! Everytime I come here I say Kill Gerome, but no one wil listen to me. Ahhh, i should have stayed guarding the exit on flats rather than be here, how the f**** did that as*** got enraged? Damm! Where are those AIS?»

*Antero meets Gerome in the upper floor, 5 fire arrows later Gerome lies dead on the ground* «So much for the nights payment... Oh well I never actually liked the guy...»

Last remaining AI who had been posted in the library: «Yes? *Follow me* Aye Aye!»

Antero90: «Something made Gerome went off. I must investigate this matter if i want to clean my name, im still bitten at the Victoria Affair and I need job badly since i left Legend...»

AI *Upon seing the bodies on the floor*: «Alert! I we got an assasin!»

*Antero notices a cup in Gerome's room*

«That's odd, i dont recall THAT cup being made of silver. Hmmm... *Inspects cup* WTF?! DIXIE?!?! HOW THE F**** THIS THING END UP HERE?! Grrr i sense this is a taffer's job, but who?»

AI: «Ah! Must have been rats.»

«Rats? Of course it was rats! IT WAS THAT GERBIL RAT! GRRRRRR! I bet he joined the server while everyone was asleep and exchanged all the objects for plastic replicas. That Gerbil will pay! Grrr! But first I must go to the shop in flats and get a real sword, i hope he hasnt replaced those as well. Then I will fill that Gerbil so full of holes that a a sieve could hold more water»

**Ghostly apparition** · 31 Jan 2003, 06:25 PM

snafu and I sit at the table. Snafu I know why gerbils doing this.
Snafu: why?
Ghostly: I have it froma reliable source that he is spending the
money with dr. flame to try to increase firebolt damage.
Snafu: omg! what are we gonna do?
Ghostly: nothing much. You see dr.flame is already in my employ
sorta a double agent if you will. He actually did increase the fire
quite a bit, but it was because i asked him too.
Snafu: why?
Ghostly: I had him invent this...holds up a bottle,,.....
This is a spray on phosphorus compound and when flame hits
it it ignites. Haven't you ever wondered why the guards catch
afire even tho they're in armor?
Snafu: now that you mention it yes.
Ghostly: its because i've sprayed this on the armor in the barracks
before they put it on. funny thing tho I've heard rumour the
guards want to bring gerbil up on charges for war crimes.
Can you imajine what its like inside that armor when gerbil
torches them? what a horrible thing roasting alive.
Snafu: ::::chuckles::::: But you still look worried ghostly....
what is it?
Ghostly: well... dr. flame isn't much worry but i've heard
that MG has bought off the developers of the Blackjack and is
now in production of a new one.
Snafu: I don't like the sound of this.
Ghostly: NO its really bad. They are removing the Lead from
the center and replacing it with foam rubber.
Snafu: You don't mean?
Ghostly: yes, exactly. its been nerfed and I hear that it will be out
soon. Trouble is it looks just like the real thing.
Snafu: why that dastardly gerbil
Ghostly: exactly what i was thinking
Snafu: well do we have a plan?
Ghostly: I've been giving it some thought and ...........

**CrouchingDork** · 31 Jan 2003, 08:44 PM

*In a dark alley corner*

Dr. Flame: CD? Are you there? Don't mess with me you taffer!
CD: I'm here I'm here, but I'm staying in the dark.
Dr. Flame: Alright, so do you have my payment?
CD: Of course, I stay loyal to my word.

*Bag of loot flies out of the shadows*

CD: Are you sure ALL of the real flame bolts are replaced?
Dr. Flame: Yes, I replaced them all with tag bolts myself.
CD: Good, good.

*Blackjacks Dr. Flame as he turns his back*

CD: Thanks, bud. (Maniacal Laughing)

*Watches MG run out of the door, "Flame bolts" ready.*

CD: "You won't catch me."

*Runs into the light*

*Waves*

CD: Well, aren't you going to kill me now, mein freund?
MG: Oh, just you wait. I've had my friends at the lab cook up some new fire bolts.
CD: Reeeeeallllly.
CD: Pretty fine jewllery in that mansion eh?
MG: You bet.

*CD jingles his pocket*

MG: What's that jingling? I have all the loot! You have the plastic stuff... don't... you?...
CD: Sorry bud, I'm not as dumb as "certain" thieves. A REAL thief knows that a gold chain doesn't weigh 2 ounces... and the gold usually doesn't come off with water.

*MG checks all his pockets*

MG: YOU DIRTY THIEF! I'LL GET YOU! SAY HELLO TO MY FIREBOLTS!
CD: Reeeeeaaaalllly.

*MG fires his "flame bolts"... and then it hits him...*

MG: THAT STUPID DR. FLAME! I'LL GET HIM!

*CD throws the body at MG's feet*

CD: Too late.
MG: No matter, I'll tag you to death, you filthy thief!
CD: You know, a melee weapon would help, as it's gonna tag 20 tag hits to kill me, and I punked quite a few health pots from your lab.

*MG proceeds to fail at attempting to hit the standing still CD with his tags*

MG: I'll be back.
CD: Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllly.

*CD dissapears, and the sound of drinking is heard*

CD: Nighty night, mein freund.

*Mad_Gerbils body goes limp and plummets to the ground*

**The_Judge** · 1 Feb 2003, 05:47 AM

As CD walked into the shadows a loud whistling pierced his ears!

CD: WTF? I'm visible!

*CD tries to run into the shadows*

CD: OMG! I why can't I run?

*CD crouches and manages to reach the shadows ***BOOOM***!

CD: WTH? A mine?

*CD runs like a madman to the exit ***BOOOM***!

CD: WTF is going on here?

*CD tries to run through the exit arc. A whistler blows and The_Judge blocks the exit with his body*

***SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH***

No more CD in this thread. :twisted:

**Yenzarill** · 1 Feb 2003, 09:06 AM

I believe Solaris made a map quite fitting for all of you.

**Antero90** · 1 Feb 2003, 05:21 PM

Meanwhile, Antero90 is trying not to loose the final AI as he get's to the shop.
As he aprouches, he notices that the door is open and a wooden sound of thief footsteps come from within.
Quickly he presses the 4 key and rushes to dispatch the thief, forgueting that he's still using MG's fake plastic sword.
Hearing the sword the thief closes the door and readies his bj.

walls going around

screams of pain

feet roaming in circles

the sudden noise of a potion

hesitation

*Music*
*Thieves Win*

«gg»
«gg»
«nice»
«OMG!»

THE END

**CrouchingDork** · 3 Feb 2003, 03:34 PM

Originally posted by The_Judge

As CD walked into the shadows a loud whistling pierced his ears!

CD: WTF? I'm visible!

*CD tries to run into the shadows*

CD: OMG! I why can't I run?

*CD crouches and manages to reach the shadows ***BOOOM***!

CD: WTH? A mine?

*CD runs like a madman to the exit ***BOOOM***!

CD: WTF is going on here?

*CD tries to run through the exit arc. A whistler blows and The_Judge blocks the exit with his body*

***SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH***

No more CD in this thread. :twisted:

Until Judge realizes it was a n00b imposter, and CD wins the map.

BOOYA!

**The_Judge** · 3 Feb 2003, 05:47 PM

ROFLMFAO!!! :lol:

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