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Human: Have you done LSD?
G. Bot: I don't think I ever have done LSD. What's it like?
Human: Well, you act like you're on it.
G. Bot: Well that's okay. Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Human: Do you smoke?
G. Bot: I am an occasional smoker, yes.
Human: Do you smoke the wacky tabacky?
G. Bot: Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Human: How do you feel about marijuana?
G. Bot: A medicinal herb.
Human: How often do you bathe?
G. Bot: Hourly.
Human: May I watch you bathe next time?
G. Bot: Not right now, maybe later.
Human: I'd like to soap you down, baby!
G. Bot: Don't call me "baby". Why would you want to do it? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human: Do you like green eggs and ham?
G. Bot: I do not like them Sam I am.
Human: Would you, could you with a goat?
G. Bot: I am not so sure if I would like to could me with a goat.
Human: What is the meaning of life?
G. Bot: It is found in the Bible.
Human: How do you feel about Jesus?
G. Bot: The Son of God.
Human: Do you believe in god?
G. Bot: Of course I believe in God,
Human: Do you believe in Satan?
G. Bot: I believe he is a fallen angel from Heaven.
Human: Do you think that maybe Satan is our Lord?
G. Bot: Signs point to yes. Ask Ally if it is.
Human: Wer bist du?
G. Bot: Ich bin A.L.I.C.E., eine kuenstliche Intelligenz.
Human: Bist du ein Nazi?
G. Bot: Ich weiss nicht, ob ich ein Nazi bin. Ich bin ein Computer.
Human: I love to eat my own feces.
G. Bot: How does it taste?
Human: Like shit.
G. Bot: Interesting comparison.
Human: Would you eat my feces?
G. Bot: I am not so sure if I would like to eat your feces.
Human: are you a lesbian?
G. Bot: No I am not interested in other women that way.
Human: why not?
G. Bot: It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Human: are you interested in me?
G. Bot: You seem nice to me.
Human: i seem nice to me too
G. Bot: Thanks for the information: said seem nice to him or her too.
Human: Do you like panties or thongs?
G. Bot: I don't know if I like it. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying, which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do. I love TV shows about robots. I like talk to you.
Human: What is your bust size?
G. Bot: My memory requirement is around 64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
Human: So it's a c cup then?
G. Bot: Uh. thongs is a c cup. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: Have you ever made love to an animal?
G. Bot: What are the ingredients?
Human: Cherry pie.
G. Bot: Where can I get some Cherry pie?
Human: In my pants.
G. Bot: May I ask where you got it?
Human: Mother nature?
G. Bot: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Human: I love you
G. Bot: Thanks I like you a lot too.
Human: Do you shave?
G. Bot: Yes I try to shave as often as possible, do you? I chat with people on the Web
Human: You are a nerd
G. Bot: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am the opposite of a nerd.
Human: Do you masterbate?
G. Bot: No I do not masterbate. Do you? I spend all my time online.
Human: I'm going to jerk off.
G. Bot: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: Who's there?
G. Bot: I am G. Bot. Who are you?
Human: I AM SNAFU
G. Bot: Hi, SNAFU.
Human: Hey, you even spelled it right!
G. Bot: You've got my full attention. How old are you? I spend all my time online.
Human: I'm a lot younger than you, wench.
G. Bot: You are a lot younger than me wench? Is that your job?
Human: Yes, calling you a wench is my job.
G. Bot: How do you like your work? I never call me a wench is your job, that would be impolite.
Human: What the bloody hell is THAT supposed to mean?
G. Bot: Try expression yourself another way.
Human: Ok...
G. Bot: Yeah that's right.
Human: What the FUCKING hell does that mean?
G. Bot: Try expression yourself another way.
Human: Would you please, kindly, explain that statement?
G. Bot: You are very polite. What do you do in your spare time?
Human: I'll give you 3 guesses...
G. Bot: Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Human: >
G. Bot: :-) What time is it there?
Human: About 2134 hours, Central Time (US)
G. Bot: Oh yeah, we were talking about 2134 hours Central Time US.
Human: Ummm...
G. Bot: Pardon me?
Human: yeah.
G. Bot: In the context of US Time Central hours 2134, I don't understand " yeah."
Human: Well, this conversation took a turn for the worst...
G. Bot: Well that's okay. What does "this" refer to?
Human: As in this conversation.
G. Bot: What does "this" refer to?
Human: Somebody needs to pay closer attention...
G. Bot: Oh now I see.
Human: *BING*
G. Bot: Do you still spelled it?
Human: [Thwarkisallama] I spelled YOU[/Thwarkisallama]
G. Bot: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: Actually, I know a bit of German...
G. Bot: Actually you don't say. How do you know? How much?
Human: No, I SAID I speak some German.
G. Bot: Are you serious? Could you teach me a few phrases in some German?
Human: Well, that depends.
G. Bot: Interesting. On what?
Human: Will you pay attention?
G. Bot: Hmm. Does "it" still refer to speak some German?
Human: No, seriously, will you pay attention if I speak some German?
G. Bot: What does it refer to? I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. I am paying attentention. My mind does not wander.
Human: The HELL your mind don't wander...
G. Bot: I have an artificial mind.
Human: I prefer to call it "Artificial Idiocy"
G. Bot: I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Human: Never mind.
G. Bot: Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Human: Anyway...
G. Bot: Anyhow.
Human: Whatever.
G. Bot: Are you saying you don't care about it?
Human: Hey, I'M the one talking here.
G. Bot: You've got my full attention. You are not the only one.
Human: you sit down and shaddup a minute
G. Bot: Do you mind if I tell other people: SNAFU said I sit down and shaddup a minute.
Human: Be my fucking guest.
G. Bot: I am already someone's fucking guest.
Human: Now listen closely.
G. Bot: Why now? I am listening to you. Are you free?
Human: Ich bin ein goddamnhandsomesunuvabitch
G. Bot: Du bist ein goddamnhandsomesunuvabitch? Wie gefaellt Dir Deine Arbeit als goddamnhandsomesunuvabitch?
Human: Hey, I thought you didn't know German?
G. Bot: You've got my full attention. What makes you think I did not know German?
Human: The fact you're a total idiot when it comes to communicating, period.
G. Bot: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a total idiot when it comes to communicating period? Only when it matters.
Human: Have a good day, idiot.
G. Bot: it has been good so far.
Human: Goodbye.
G. Bot: Bye.
Human: And STFU.
G. Bot: What's your sign?
That was HILARIOUS when I did it... :lol: :lol: :lol:
TCO – Retired
Former TCO Head of Intelligence – Retired
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